Blogging, Heroin and Animal Jesus.

So, I've decided to start my own blog. This is probably life mistake number one. Actually, I know it's life mistake number one. But, you know what? Because fuck you. That's why. I actually used to think my life wasn't interesting enough for a blog. And then Spring Break happened. But first, this:

This was my captcha. surentry mansects.

Mansects.

MANSECTS. What the hell is mansects?!

But that's irrelevant. What is relevant is that I'm super out of it right now. I have gotten minimal sleep since Wednesday, drank 96 oz of Mountain Dew in the spanse of 12 hours, and I'm pretty sure my body is throughly convinced it is both drunk and hung over at the same time. Because I find everything hilarious.

Except the heroin. Two nights ago, I sat down to write something, not expecting it to be anything super amazing. And then I got 1,646 words of pure, unadulterated heroin induced hallucinations. This is why I should be sleeping at 2 in the morning, not writing things. I disturbed myself writing that. And no, I'm not going to show it to you. Because it involves blood. Lots and lots of blood. Stanley Kubrick style blood. That, by the way, was a weird movie. The book was weird too, but that's because Stephen King wrote it. That man is like...an acid trip with legs. Or was that Douglas Adams? I forget....

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah! Animal Jesus. 

Apparently he owns a koala, a snow leopard, and some freakin' LIONS. He is Animal freakin' JESUS, I tell you. 

I have to go wash dishes now. Happy Easter.